Sunday, December 30, 2018

He is the God of Second Chances





Sometimes you find yourself in a position where you have failed or fallen and you cannot find your way through it, or even completely out if it. But you know God always provides a way out. Which means He is truly a God of second chances. He gives you a chance to get back up and try again.

A reconciliation arising out of a change in you is not merely because the relationship has changed, but because God has given his Son as a redemptive sacrifice. Reconciliation arises therefore out of God through Jesus Christ to man so that not only the barriers of the fellowship existing in the sinful man be removed but the positive basis for fellowship maybe established through the righteous work of Jesus Christ given to man.

When my eyes began to open back in 2015, I began to realize how bad of a person I had become. I always thought I was a good person because I was a giver. I always gave away everything I had even down to the information I had on my mind that would benefit another. I would never do anything for myself. But because I was like that, people used me up to the point I had nothing left to give. When I was used up, I had become bitter and regretful. I was angry because I did not protect myself, I had let my circumstances dictate who I had become in my older adult life. It was when I had decided to learn who God was to me and the real truth about who Jesus was that I was freed and delivered.

One day I was in my room reading my Bible and the verses said to me, "Daughter your sins are forgiven." "I will never leave you nor forsake you." I will be with you always until the end of time." It blew my mind. After the life I had lived, I was empty. Nothing left in me. To hear something like this I was finally going to be healed. It is amazing! To this day, my anemia is completely gone after 25 years and as far as my SELF is concerned, I am no longer depressed. I handle all my problems without letting them sway me to the left or to the right. I pray and wait for an answer before I move. Reconciliation is real guys!

Reconciliation meets the need that is created by God's separation from a sinful person. The broken relationship between God and man is caused by sin (the things we do wrong that slowly destroy). But Jesus came to give us life and to give it more abundantly. He died to remove our sin. This in itself "Reconciliation" restores the relationship between God and us.

Reconciliation is the change if relationship between God and man based on the changed status of man through the redemptive work of Jesus.

II Corinthians 5:18- Now all things are of God who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ and has given us the ministry of reconciliation

Ephesians 2:16 - That He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross therefore putting death to sin.

All the basis of the sin relationship is removed and a complete relationship is restored.

How wonderful is that! Just think the entire purpose of Jesus' life was for Him to give of Himself to atone our sinful nature. So that we won't experience the God of wrath in whom some experienced in the Old Testament. It may seem strange that a man would give His life for me or you. But just like you think of the purpose of the people that fight the government for you everyday and one day they end up dead. They get honorable parades and awards, etc. Just like those people keep the law from taking advantage of us, Jesus died to give us life. If you could just try him to learn about Him and the Father and the Power of the Holy Spirit. Reconciliation is real guys!

II Corinthians 5:17- Therefore is anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away. Behold all things have become new.

You can't live in the present moment when the past rushes to the front to be first. Your present moment can be so clouded by your past that your present moment cannot be nurtured for the future. For those who already know, BREATHE! You have that word in you. Jesus said your sins are forgiven. He said you are of God so you hear God's words you know the truth. You abide in my word so you are indeed my disciple. The truth is making you free. I said that I do not condemn you BUT you ought not to sin anymore. Avoid those temptations. Because you follow me you shall not walk in darkness anymore. You shall have the light of life.

John 6:63- It is the spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing.

So what do we do now that we have received this gracious gift of reconciliation, the blotting out of our sin? We stop and let the Holy Spirit begin to do a work in us.

Romans 8:11- But if the spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His spirit who dwells in you.

It is God's spirit who quickens you who are spiritually dead. Spirituality does not represent death. It does not look like death. When you receive the Holy Spirit, You are renewed, regenerated and you are able to be re-created.

Romans 10:8-10- But what does it say? " The word is near you, in your mouth, and in your heart." That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
                                                           
                                                                         AND
                                                                         
Romans 8:1,2 - There is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the spirit. For as many as are led by the spirit of God. These are the sons of God.

He is the God of second chances.




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Thursday, November 29, 2018

#workingoutmyfaith

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Saturday, November 24, 2018

Truly letting go.

Truly letting go is the hardest thing to do. You may go through all types of mental and physical trauma because you have to let go. The only reason of the trauma is because it had been a part of you for so long that is has become part of the cellular structure. Your blood line. So letting go is not going to to take just walking away. You have to clean yourself from the inside and out. To begin with the inside, make water your main source of liquid inside and out. Begin to blend and not cook your vegetables. This way your body will process that chlorophyll and sugars more easily. That is physical fasting. Then meditate to ease your mind. Begin to pray. Take back your personal space and revamp what God has made. Everything He created is good. Yup He said it in His Word. Get better. Be Better

Thursday, November 22, 2018

MANIC TURKEY DAY!

Sometimes I think I am going to die from a broken heart. Always looking for someone to love me in the right way. But they have to understand me in order to love me. They can never think that I will be the same person all the time. Anyway, Today is Thanksgiving. HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU AND YOURS. My experiences with Thanksgiving have never been good ones. Especially after the death of my Father which meant the death of my FAMILY. Not that I am in panic mode because I have to cook or assist cooking for a large family but the panic mode in me turns into a manic mode. I am all in my head about the fact that I really don't want to be here. I wish I was dead. It is something about this holiday, and my birthday that makes me sad, angry depressed and all the other disgruntled feelings you can imagine. I sometimes even crawl into these crying fits. I always think about the first time I had a manic episode.

1993. I was so quiet that no one even knew something was going on. I sat at the dining room table with all my friends and family laughing and joking. All of a sudden, I zoned out. I was no longer there at the table with my friends and family. I was in another zone.  Not that I planned for this to happen but it did. I left the table to go upstairs to my room. I fell into a crying fit that I could not get out of . So quiet no one even came to check up on me. I just wanted my Dad. I really missed him. I just wanted to be with him. I changed my clothes and went to sleep. I woke up. I said to myself, "I can't take this no more". My heart was done. My mind was clear. My body was ready. I got up out of my bed and went into the bathroom. I found some rubbing alcohol. I mixed with water. Before I left my room, I had taken all of the antidepressants the doctor had prescribed to me after my Father died. Two bottles of pills and then I drank the alcohol. (You are not supposed to do that mix at all it should cause devastating effects.) I laid down, went back to sleep never expecting to get up ever again. I was finally going to be free from the pain I felt in my heart. I don't remember all that happened after that. Only what people told me. I woke the next day and when I came to, I was in a hospital room in a bed. Looked around and I was seeing things/ having hallucinations. I thought I was in purgatory :). But I did not get up being thankful that I was still alive. Just like the night my Dad died, it all went quiet. I didn't know what to do now that I was still alive. Here I am Thanksgiving 25 years later and the right side of my brain is blown up like a balloon. My heart is palpitating. Head in my hand. Crying.

 I am trying my best to work through it.So to begin to change it, I decided to write about it. Not that it makes me feel any better but it releases some of the tension resonating in my body.

But I see still no one understands the pain and heartache of a person who experiences trauma, betrayal, rejection, abandonment. We can talk about it all day. We can have group sessions and community walks. We hear about it but don't take actions to actually change our minds about how we want to live not realizing that we have the rest of our lives to CHANGE IT. If I knew then what I know now, that I have the rest of my life to LIVE IN GREATNESS. Thanksgiving 2018 would be different.  I can change the way my Thanksgiving goes but the wall of rejection is up so high I can't even break it down to walk right over it. But one day, maybe today I will be able to calm down without drinking my tension tamer tea and meditating the subconscious life killing thoughts away. That takes strong self discipline. Change is hard but so far I have benefited from it.  My Dad will never come back. My family may not all get together all at one time. I may never see my old friends again. This is one day out of 365 not the rest of my life. I will be good. Because this is only a remnant of what is left over after being freed from depression and suicide. God will work it out. I put it out for all the world to read. So something has to transform. 

Anyway HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU ALL. I pray you all stay sane in this time of year.


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Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Dear Jesus, Its Me



My Third grade teacher told me to write letters. In my head I said write letters? Write letters to who? I was just learning about Pen Pals at the time. Sister said write letters to Jesus. Again in my head I said write letters to who? All I knew was Mary the Mother of Jesus was the one who I prayed to. Jesus was my friend. Write letters to my friend Jesus? Yes Sister said. I guess she knew that I was going through something, Everyday I’d come to school by lunchtime I was sad. I guess it was on my face because I sure wasn’t a cry baby. At the time I didn’t have any friends. By the third grade I was deemed to be unfit to “hang out” because I was not a clean cut girl. For me, I did not think that I was poor, maybe more or less unkempt because it was so much stuff going on at home. 

No one ever told me not to tell. It was just assumed fearful of what would happen if I did. Some say feelings don’t matter. The Bible says “spare the rod, spoil the child”. But through my eyes and my heart, the rod was not spared at all. Daddy used it a lot. Nevertheless, physically it hurt but no scars were apparent enough for someone to scream “ABUSE”. The mental scars though would hold me captive for the first half of my life. 

Some things a child never forgets. It is not really what they think in their heads about it. It is always what is in their hearts which is associated with the feeling s of the mishap. For me, life was hard as I lived in fear every day. So much that fear became a part of my expectation to want to live. There were five of us children in the home. All of us experienced Daddy in a different darkness. 

Our address was 1520 north Peach Street. We moved there when I was 5 years old. I went there when we were just looking at the house with the landlord. They picked me up from school and took me there.  I ran through the house like a giddy little girl. I was so excited!  I ran upstairs to the back room. I looked out the back window and saw this gigantic tree. I was so amazed! The back yard was huge. I had never seen anything like that before. I didn’t know that it was ours. That we were going to live there. I was just excited. 

When we finally moved in, it was kind of scary so we all slept downstairs in the living room. Eventually we got our beds and our room. Mommy and Daddy slept in the front room and we slept in the middle room. Daddy used the back room as a rehearsal spot for him and the band. The house was so full of music. I felt so much joy in my heart all the times I heard the band playing. They were good too. I had never been to one of Daddy’s shows. Maybe then I was too young but I sure enjoyed the rehearsals.

Friday, October 26, 2018

The Pure in Heart



Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.For now we see a mirror, dimly but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. But we all with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.For we walk by faith, not by sight
Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me.




Scripture References

Matthew 5:8
1 Corinthians 13:12
2 Corinthians 3:18
2 Corinthians 5:7
Philippians 3:12




(I will present this to you in the amplified version also so that we can break this down tremendously)

Monday, October 22, 2018

Domestic Violence Awareness

I am a survivor. My Father committed suicide when I was 16 years old. He was an abusive husband and father. If you ask anyone from that time they would be stark quiet as if it either never happened or like he may come back and get you if you tell. I write books to make people aware of the affects that domestic violence and abuse has on the children. Story by story but not so goury :) . Many people are being held subject to this treament but there is no way we can get into the homes of the ones who are suffering but we can keep the public so aware that it will draw out those who are suffering. They can be taken to safe places. Home is supposed to be the safest place for a child. They are so busy trying to make public places safe. What are they doing to make homes safer. Especially for the foster children. Even ones in group homes. Again I am not asking for money. Just prayers. They are much more powerful.

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Hi. I am not asking for money but prayers which are much more powerful. October is domestic violence awareness month. Please pray much for the families of those who committed suicide and those suffering from PTSD due to domestic violence in the home. Pray much for the abused children and spouses. In Jesus name

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Am I considered a " a SUPERWOMAN"?



Can you point out the things in this Chapter that you maybe? This Chapter of Proverbs is amazing in the description of how a woman can be. This chapter presents to me as sort of a "Superwoman", As in some women ought to think of themselves in this manner. Why because we do it anyway. :) As I went through it, as far as the outer me, I was fine. But the inner me is flawed. I know there is more than this. My physical body only lasts a short time. But my mental and spiritual body lasts a life time. I think I am going to do a series on this and call it Superwoman. Yes that would be good, Because the inner me is just as important as the outer me.



Proverbs 31:10-31 New King James Version (NKJV)

The Virtuous Wife
10 Who[a] can find a [b]virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies. ( WORKING ON THIS)

11 The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain. (NOT SURE ABOUT THIS :0 )
12 She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. ( ALWAYS STRIVING TO BE THIS WAY)
13 She seeks wool and flax,
And willingly works with her hands. ( SURE NUFF, ALWAYS :) )
14 She is like the merchant ships,
She brings her food from afar. ( EVERYDAY :) )
15 She also rises while it is yet night,
And provides food for her household, ( WILLINGLY EVERY MORNING)
And a portion for her maidservants. ( I HAVE NO SERVANTS OR ASSISTANT YOU MAY SAY)
16 She considers a field and buys it;
From [c]her profits she plants a vineyard. ( YES!, YES!, YES)
17 She girds herself with strength,
And strengthens her arms. ( I BE SO TIRED FROM DOING THE OTHER STUFF I DONT KNOW IF I CAN CONTINUE TO DO THIS LOL!)
18 She perceives that her merchandise is good,
And her lamp does not go out by night. ( I NEVER SLEEP)
19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff,
And her hand holds the spindle. ( I USED TO DO THIS BUT MY KIDS ARE GROWN)
20 She extends her hand to the poor,
Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. {YES I DO. I DID ALL MY LIFE EVEN WHEN I WAS POOR)
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
For all her household is clothed with scarlet.
22 She makes tapestry for herself; (I TRY)
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land. ( HE SURE IS :())
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
And supplies sashes for the merchants. (SOMETIMES , BUT I LIKE GIVING THINGS AWAY)
25 Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come. ( I TRY BUT SOMETIMES I FAIL)
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
And on her tongue is the law of kindness. ( ALWAYS)
27 She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness. (ALWAYS)
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; (ALWAYS, THEY CALL M THE ORACLE)
Her husband also, and he praises her: ( NOT SURE ABOUT THIS HE DOESN'T AGREE WITH HAUGHTYNESS AND PRIDE IN A WOMAN)
29 “Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.” ( THAT'S WHAT THEY MIGHT SAY)
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, ( CHARM AND BEAUTY SITS IN MY WOMANHOOD, WHY DO THEY KEEP TELLING US THIS?)
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. ( YES YES YES I LOVE THE LORD)
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands, ( SOMETHIMES BECAUSE I LIKE DO ALL THIS THEY DEEM ME AS A SERVANT GIRL. NEVER BEING ABLE TO DO MY OWN WORKS IF THEY ARE THEY ARE FOR SOMEONE ELSE.)

And let her own works praise her in the gates ( YES THEY DO THIS BUT AUTOMATICALLY TAKE IT BACK)
Go through the word of a God and seek what you are looking for. God is the Word and He will find you and give you the wisdom to work out what needs to be fixed.

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Monday, October 8, 2018

Consider your ways

"Thus says the LORD of Hosts: Consider your ways."




Thus says the Lord of hosts: These people say the time has not yet come to rebuild the house of the Lord.” Then the word of the Lord came by the hand of Haggai the prophet, “Is it a time for you yourselves to dwell in your paneled houses, while this house lies in ruins? Now, therefore, thus says the Lord of hosts: Consider your ways. You have sown much, and harvested little. You eat, but you never have enough; you drink, but you never have your fill. You clothe yourselves, but no one is warm. And he who earns wages does so to put them into a bag with holes.
“Thus says the Lord of hosts: Consider your ways.

Haggai 1:1-7



The LORD of Hosts = El Shaddai. 

You ever have something that you are doing and you never are satisfied. You work, work, work and when you get your paycheck, two days later you have a zero balance? You give of yourself and do not get anything in return? Consider your ways says the LORD. What is the foundation of what you are doing? Who is the foundation of what you are doing? Who is making the plans for you? Are you making your own plans? Are you setting things up yourself. Jeremiah 29:11-13 says:
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

So why not seek the LORD in prayer before you make anymore moves. I will tell you from experience it is all worth it. Below is a miracle work done by God himself through me to help you.
I said to Him " I give myself away", went on a 21 day water fast. He said that he would cleanse that filthiness out of me and put His Spirit in me. And the result is below. There are more to come. I pray that is helps you in #workingoutyourfaith.

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Friday, August 31, 2018

BE STRONG BE NOT AFRAID

2 Chronicles 15:7 
But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will  be rewarded.

This time of year is normally the time for harvest. Some new beginnings. School starts, Colleges begin move ins, etc. Some may think the opposite, that this is seed time. I think that this deals with what ever hemisphere you live in this world. During our time it gets colder and snowy. Other areas are hot and damp. Either way, in the colder months people normally stay indoors. They come out in the warmer months.
I just want to encourage you that where ever you are, it is time to plant some seeds. Good seeds to receive a good harvest. Stay focused on the task that is put before you and don't stay stagnated. Keep moving forward and growing. Soon you will see that your work will be rewarded.


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Thursday, August 30, 2018

So I'm gonna give Him all I have

He shall help right early in the morning. I shall not be moved. The Lord is my Shepard. I shall not lack. The Lord shall give me the fruit of my own hands as they bear good fruit.

As long as the LORD is your Shepard, there is no question about what he will do for you to keep you in safe pastures. Jesus gave His life for you to keep you in safe passage. What will you do for Him.

Let us pray

Father in the Name of Jesus
Thank you for this day.
Thank you for Jesus making intercession for me so that I can have life.
I pray that my heart turns to you knowing all that you do for me.
I pray that others will also. I pray for the sick and dying, the parentless children, and the widows. Bring them peace and love where it is need in these trying times.
I will praise you to the highest. Thank you LORD for blessing me.
In Jesus name I pray

Amen

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Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Genesis 8:33 

While the earth remains seed time and harvest.....shall not cease.

Matthew 9:37, 38

The harvest is truly plentiful but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the Harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.

Testimonies are seeds planted to help others believe in the Lord of the Harvest. Just like the apple tree, some years it brings good fruit and some years it doesn't. But when it does it is plentiful, sweet and savory. Just like God's mercy and grace. Prayers and worship to God are seeds. You have planted many seeds now its time to collect the harvest.