We are Back!!!

 I will be posting very soon as an extension of my ministry. I have a lot to say. God Bless everyone.

PARADIGMS- Relationships

In this blog, I will examine my relational paradigms as it relates to me. I encourage you to do the same as it makes clear of who you are as a person to examine yourself clearly as far as relationships are concerned. This will determine if they are healthy or unhealthy. This self-examination really opened my eyes to how my relationships were formed when I was a young person to see that my relationships as a child led to unhealthy relationships as an adult.

Paradigms - An example that serves as a pattern or model. A list of all the inflectional forms of a word is taken as an illustrative example.

Inflection- An alteration of a pitch or tone in a voice. A change in the form of a word in accordance with the grammar, syntax, or meaning.

 RELATIONAL PARADIGMS:

1. Home

2. Family

3. Work

4. Church

5. Education

6. Extra Activities

Me

  a) Home and School

Home

  a) Daddy

  b) Mommy

  c) Brothers

  d) Sister

School

  a) Teachers

  b) Students

EXAMPLES OF HOME AS A YOUNG CHILD

Home - Before Daddy Died

 1. Clean

2. Old

3. Rodents

4. Full of Music

5. Big Back Yard

6. No Peace ( I am the oldest sibling)

Home - After Daddy Died

1. Cluttered

2. More rodents

3. Full of people other than my family

4. Full of music and arts

5. Unsafe - house falling apart

6. No peace - (always a lot of people in the house, always something going on)

EXAMPLES OF FRIENDSHIPS AS A YOUNG CHILD (SCHOOL)

1. Quiet

2. Not clean (smelly)

3. Bullied

4. Straight-A student

5. 3 friends until 3rd grade

6. 1 friend until 7tth grade

EXAMPLES OF A FATHER

1. Physically abusive

2. Love

3. Creator

4. Teacher

5. Violent

6. Protector

EXAMPLES OF A MOTHER

1. Creative

2. Gave her life to the service of others

3. Never hardly home

4. On welfare (Daddy did not work)

5. Always shopping

6. Verbally Abusive

EXAMPLES OF A BROTHER

1. Did not protect me

2. Called me names

3. Verbally Abusive

EXAMPLES OF A SISTER

1. Don't remember having a close relationship with her

2. They regarded her as prettier than me

3. Always dressed up in new clothes

4. Raised differently as far as self confidence and high self esteem

5. Never talked with her

EXAMPLES OF TEACHERS

1. Authoritative

2. Disregarded my mental state

3. Verbally Abusive

4. Beat other kids

5. Women were mean

6. The priest seemed like he "liked" the 8th grade girls in an ungodly manner.

EXAMPLES OF STUDENTS

1. Bullies

2. Mean

3. Called me names

4. Did not include me in clubs or groups (outright said no)

5. My Best friend since first grade left me in the 7th grade to be with the "pretty girls".

This is a list of my examples of a young child. As you can see, I dealt a lot with verbal abuse. According to Wikipedia : Verbal abuse (also verbal attack or verbal assault) is the act of forcefully criticizing, insulting, or denouncing another person.^[1] Characterized by underlying anger and hostility, it is a destructive form of communication intended to harm the self-concept of the other person and produce negative emotions. 

According to  https://www.avoicefortheinnocent.org/emotional-abuse-brain/, the result of verbal abuse can look like this: Emotional abuse is devastating and can often be more traumatic than physical wounds. Bruises and broken bones eventually heal and may leave scars, but emotional trauma stays with you and shapes who you are as a person. It can also leave its own scar, one that is not as visible, but physically affects brain development and the ability to process emotions and stress. The effects of verbal abuse can also cause Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. And because my father committed suicide when I was 16 amid all the chaotic living as a child, I was diagnosed with PTSD.

I realized that the examples of family and friends that were set before me were not healthy ones. I also examined my current family dynamic. I wanted to see if there were similarities. I saw that there were similarities that I had now created to simulate my house as a young child. 

Husband

- Provider

- Protector

- Always away

- Always busy

- Diabetic

- Will he die before me

- Extremist

Husband as a Father

My Children (3) Not by him

- Physically abusive

- Provider

- Protector

- Teacher

Our Child (1) 

- Friend

- Balanced

- Teacher

- Provider

- Protector

Children

Child (1)

- Protector

- Extremist

- Caregiver

- Judgmental

- Loves his people

- Creative

Child (2)

- Love Child

- PTSD - Physically abused by me and my husband

- Academically genius

- Evasive with education

- always in his head

Child (3)

- Tech Crazy

- Quiet

- Angry

- Prideful

- try to impress me messed him up

- Physically and verbally abused (by me)

- Hoarder

Child (4)

- Growing up fast

- wants independence

- persistent

- knows what he wants

- cares about the people around him no matter where he is

- protector

- creator

As you can see, the similarities are close but not the same. Next I will do the things outside of my family.

Work

- bosses are bullies

- unstable environment

- crazy workload

- no room for rest

- mentally abusive

- threatening

- good pay

- I am in the wrong part of this company

Education

- attended schools that closed

- attended schools with no accreditation

- Gained new friendships

- Now on the right track

- Is it too late to begin again?

Church

- plays mind games

- God cares about me, the church does not

Extra Activities

-too many

- too frequent

- spending too much money

- not making any money

- never finish anything

OK, now here are the results:

Father, Husband- Abusers

Children- Abused like me, Artist like me, Academic like me

Mother and work- Bullies

Work and Community Activities - Overwork

Education and extra activities- a result of judgment from others, low self-esteem, and verbal abuse.

Where do I stand in all of this? I am not the same person I used to be. I cannot change the things that happened but I can change what is happening now. I can change the way I perceive things around me.  My conscious mind controls my subconscious mind. I control what goes in and what to accept as truth.  I have to reprogram my subconscious mind at the root level to change my perception of things and my belief systems. If I change, so will my marriage. If I change my house will be in order. In my education, I need to practice focusing techniques. This way I will not be easily distracted. Read all the books that I have purchased for the rest of the year. No more TV. Just read.

I encourage you to do the same examination with your life. It will help you to see why you are where you are. I am still working on changing things. Please post comments below if you have any questions.

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Speak to Yourself in a positive light

Hebrews 12:15
Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God. Lest ANY root of bitterness springs up causing trouble and by this many become defiled.

James 3:6
And the tongue is a 🔥 a world of inquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body and sets 🔥 the course of nature and it is set on 🔥 by hell.

What you speak to yourself is important. You see that you can damage yourself with your own words. Guard your heart carefully and don't let others cause you to be bitter. Get out of that situation as soon as you feel yourself falling. It's not worth the trip. As you can see, it disrupts the natural plan God had for your life and will lead your right to the grave.

#workoutyourfaith
#speakgoodthingstoyourself
#dontletothersdictateyourselfworth

Good night 🤗

Where can I find happiness ?

There is but one place where you can find happiness. The world has nothing but sorrow. But you can find happiness in the presence of God. In the secret place of God. In our prayers but where ever God is is His secret place. In the OT, the Tabernacle was the place where God dwelled. But now we can find happiness through Christ Jesus. Look back over your life and see where the Lord has kept you. In the presence of God 🙌 is where we can find rest. When you are burdened , in His presence we will be blessed. Our soul and our mind is at rest. God knows what we need before we even ask. Just be in His presence and fellowship with Him. There is power. Wonderful saving power in the presence 🙏🙌 of the Lord. We are the apple of God's eyes. Jesus is the core. He is the one that holds up together. Spend time in the Lord and we will find out that we are not as bad of as we think. We have a high place in the presence of the Lord. When trouble comes our way we can run to the that place and say " Oh Lord, my Savior". Ain't nothing like the Love of God. No matter how hard the trouble is all it takes is some praise and that wall will fall. In His presence is all that we need. We must dwell (live) in that place. If we dwell there He will cover us in His arms. Only in the presence of God. Amen.

Do not fear. Rest assured I AM is here.

Isaiah 41:13

13 For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. 

    You always stand proud because its your Mom or Dad who fights for you. But your Mom or Dad is gone now. There is no one to fight for you. There is no one to take your hand and say to you,"Everything will be OK."You feel lost, alone, sometimes even desperate looking everywhere for someone to fill that void. 

    When my Father died, I was left so alone that I could not see my way forward. But I know always that I had the word of God at bay waiting for me to read and apply it to my life. This verse Isaiah 41:13 says that He is the Lord meaning He is the one now who takes your hand and fills that void. He will be your provider, your healer, your friend, you confidant, your companion. This is one of the verses that changed my perspective on life.  He will come when you call but you have to honor Him first. I had to do it. Now I am free. Just try Him today. Say "God, I need your help." He will give you everything you need.

God Speed

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Leave me a comment if you read my books or TYPE #workingoutmyfaith 

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Your Circumstances May Not change but Your Mind Can! New Year, New You!

Ye are my witnesses, saith the LORD, and my servant whom I have chosen: that ye may know and believe me, and understand that I am he: before me there was no God formed, neither shall there be after me. Isaiah 43:10

Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert Isaiah 43:19

Don't start this day as normal. Your circumstances may be normal but your mind is able to change. Change your the vibes in you and the people and things around you will change.

Good Morning :)
Happy New Year ❤🎉🎉🎉💫💫

He is the God of Second Chances

Sometimes you find yourself in a position where you have failed or fallen and you cannot find your way through it, or even completely out if it. But you know God always provides a way out. Which means He is truly a God of second chances. He gives you a chance to get back up and try again.

A reconciliation arising out of a change in you is not merely because the relationship has changed, but because God has given his Son as a redemptive sacrifice. Reconciliation arises therefore out of God through Jesus Christ to man so that not only the barriers of the fellowship existing in the sinful man be removed but the positive basis for fellowship maybe established through the righteous work of Jesus Christ given to man.

When my eyes began to open back in 2015, I began to realize how bad of a person I had become. I always thought I was a good person because I was a giver. I always gave away everything I had even down to the information I had on my mind that would benefit another. I would never do anything for myself. But because I was like that, people used me up to the point I had nothing left to give. When I was used up, I had become bitter and regretful. I was angry because I did not protect myself, I had let my circumstances dictate who I had become in my older adult life. It was when I had decided to learn who God was to me and the real truth about who Jesus was that I was freed and delivered.

One day I was in my room reading my Bible and the verses said to me, "Daughter your sins are forgiven." "I will never leave you nor forsake you." I will be with you always until the end of time." It blew my mind. After the life I had lived, I was empty. Nothing left in me. To hear something like this I was finally going to be healed. It is amazing! To this day, my anemia is completely gone after 25 years and as far as my SELF is concerned, I am no longer depressed. I handle all my problems without letting them sway me to the left or to the right. I pray and wait for an answer before I move. Reconciliation is real guys!

Reconciliation meets the need that is created by God's separation from a sinful person. The broken relationship between God and man is caused by sin (the things we do wrong that slowly destroy). But Jesus came to give us life and to give it more abundantly. He died to remove our sin. This in itself "Reconciliation" restores the relationship between God and us.

Reconciliation is the change if relationship between God and man based on the changed status of man through the redemptive work of Jesus.

II Corinthians 5:18- Now all things are of God who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ and has given us the ministry of reconciliation

Ephesians 2:16 - That He might reconcile them both to God in one body through the cross therefore putting death to sin.

All the basis of the sin relationship is removed and a complete relationship is restored.

How wonderful is that! Just think the entire purpose of Jesus' life was for Him to give of Himself to atone our sinful nature. So that we won't experience the God of wrath in whom some experienced in the Old Testament. It may seem strange that a man would give His life for me or you. But just like you think of the purpose of the people that fight the government for you everyday and one day they end up dead. They get honorable parades and awards, etc. Just like those people keep the law from taking advantage of us, Jesus died to give us life. If you could just try him to learn about Him and the Father and the Power of the Holy Spirit. Reconciliation is real guys!

II Corinthians 5:17- Therefore is anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, old things have passed away. Behold all things have become new.

You can't live in the present moment when the past rushes to the front to be first. Your present moment can be so clouded by your past that your present moment cannot be nurtured for the future. For those who already know, BREATHE! You have that word in you. Jesus said your sins are forgiven. He said you are of God so you hear God's words you know the truth. You abide in my word so you are indeed my disciple. The truth is making you free. I said that I do not condemn you BUT you ought not to sin anymore. Avoid those temptations. Because you follow me you shall not walk in darkness anymore. You shall have the light of life.

John 6:63- It is the spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing.

So what do we do now that we have received this gracious gift of reconciliation, the blotting out of our sin? We stop and let the Holy Spirit begin to do a work in us.

Romans 8:11- But if the spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His spirit who dwells in you.

It is God's spirit who quickens you who are spiritually dead. Spirituality does not represent death. It does not look like death. When you receive the Holy Spirit, You are renewed, regenerated and you are able to be re-created.

Romans 10:8-10- But what does it say? " The word is near you, in your mouth, and in your heart." That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.
                                                           
                                                                         AND
                                                                         
Romans 8:1,2 - There is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the spirit. For as many as are led by the spirit of God. These are the sons of God.

He is the God of second chances.

Find me on Facebook  

Find me on Twitter @ arthinasings. 

Find me on Instagram @ arthinathewriter

Leave me a comment if you read my books or TYPE #workingoutmyfaith 

 http://faithworkoutbook.wixsite.com/mysite

  

 PURCHASE MY BOOK FAITH WORK OUT AND ITS COMPANION BURYING PLACES.

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